Leading Your Child On An Exponential Growth Curve, Starting With YouFeb 15, 2022
It’s easy to trust in a linear process.
After all, plans and pre-defined structures are something we lean on as parents: bathe the kids, read them a book, put them to bed—these are formats that work.
Where they don’t work, however, is when it comes to radical transformation. To create real and lasting change in your own life and that of your family, to switch a light back on once it’s been off, we need to think more aspirationally than that.
In this post, we will be discussing how to identify an incremental (a.k.a linear) mindset. And how the Lights On® approach can lead you and your family on an exponential growth curve instead.
What is an incremental mindset and incremental learning?
Incremental learning refers to the step-by-step method seen in most development journeys today.
It’s associated with the traditional measurements of ‘success’—such as finishing school, then immediately getting into a good university, graduating with a respectable degree without losing any time, and finally getting a job that puts what you’ve learned to good use.
There’s nothing wrong with this way of learning; it’s a process the majority of people will follow through life. The problem is, linear development relies on the foundations being laid before you can step forward and you’ll almost always hit a glass ceiling eventually.
You might still succeed—no one is saying that linear learning doesn’t work—but success isn’t guaranteed and neither is your and your family’s happiness.
That’s because a parent with an incremental mindset would struggle with deviations from “the plan” and react to them as signs of losing time or ground.
What if your child falls behind in reading ability for their age?
What if you don’t cope as well returning to full-time work as you’d thought you would?
What if the dinner you put on the table isn’t something your child wants to eat?
Children reflect what they see and learn from their parents, so your ability to roll with the punches and how you react to change will inspire and influence the rest of your family too.
Help them find the fun in reading, rather than worrying about “keeping up”. Find the courage to talk to work about dropping down your hours or ask your partner to step in and do more. Give your child the decision: eat what’s in front of you or make something for yourself.
When we stop worrying about how things “should” go, we open up to how they actually could be. Life is about curveballs. And becoming Lights On® is about celebrating what you learn along the way, through success and failure equally.
The three stages of embracing an exponential growth curve
A Lights On® mindset is one that doesn’t need to know how things are unfolding and what the next step will be. Lights On® mums are comfortable with uncertainty and can surrender to life as it is, knowing that your thoughts create your reality.
Tell yourself “I can’t do this” and, guess what, you probably can’t.
Tell yourself “I’ve got this” and see what opportunities are presented.
Sure, you won’t always succeed—even when you think you’ve got it all laced up. But failing while believing in your abilities is far more rewarding than succeeding in spite of self-doubt.
Adopting a Lights On® mindset is necessary to embrace exponential growth. There’s no step-by-step, pre-trodden path to follow and no guarantees of getting it right. And that’s precisely what’s so fulfilling about learning this way.
Let’s take a look at the three stages of exponential growth and what that could look like for your family:
- Get clarity on your vision. Every journey has a desired destination—that’s true even of exponential growth. You need to be absolutely clear about what you want to achieve and the transformations you want to make, otherwise you’ll quickly go off-course.
What’s the bravest future you can imagine for yourself? What’s the boldest change you could visualise for your family? Once you’ve seen that in your mind’s eye, you can’t possibly settle for anything less.
- Keep believing. You’re shooting for ‘exponential’ change here, even when you might not see dramatic transformations right from the get-go. Lasting positive change happens in micro-moments of insight and growth, and when you get really great at celebrating and supersizing along the way change can happen fast.
There may be times when you feel like giving up—feeling the allure of that predictable and safe incremental mindset again. But even when there’s a total lack of evidence to suggest your wildest ambitions are even within reach, that’s when you’ve got to keep on believing in your vision.
- Lead the way. Thanks to your courage, patience and self-belief, the change you’ve been working so hard for will begin to take shape. And when it does, don’t be surprised if it happens very quickly indeed! In fact, the pace of change might feel dizzying and a little scary—that’s when you need to step up, lead your family and champion your new reality.
Funnily enough, our children are usually much more open to this way of learning than we are. Video games are a fantastic example of exponential learning: exploring your options, failing and getting frustrated, but ultimately trying again until you unlock the next level.
But they won’t see the value of exponential growth in other aspects of their lives until you, the leader of the family, show them the way. To do that you have to fully understand and master the range of emotions that come with learning in this way.
Do you want to be an inspiring leader for your family?
We promise you’ll get to know yourself better and become your authentic self. You’ll re-connect with elements of your identity you thought you’d left behind. And you’ll be able to lead your family more effectively—helping them to realise their potential and throw themselves into passion-led exponential learning as well.
Sign up for the next online Lights On® course, with master neurocoaches and educationalists Julia Black and Sarah Nykoruk today.