Whole Family TransformationJun 01, 2020
A Lights On® story from Amy, Mum to William (12) and Jack (7)
“I watched the lights go out in my children, and searched for ways to change this. Nothing seemed to help until I stumbled across Explorium on Facebook. Julia’s words really spoke to me, and made so much sense. I watched the free training, and knew I wanted to go deeper.
I joined Lights On® Academy and realised my anxieties and beliefs were holding me and my children back. The boys were mirroring my negative beliefs.
I thought of myself as a learner. I had always craved knowledge and sought information. I couldn’t understand why the boys had such fixed mindsets when I had tried to give them a growth mindset. I came to see that I had a very fixed mindset myself. The boys were learning what I did, not what I said!
I signed up for the neuro-coaching programme to tackle the beliefs holding me back. I had been so determined to be a great Mum that I had stopped learning myself. I wasn’t modelling how to do what I wanted my boys to do.
Despite plenty of counselling over the years, including counselling training, I hadn’t recognised and tackled all the automatic negative thoughts that were holding me, and therefore my family, back.
Explorium has helped me to see the value of my own learning. This has been my focus to date. As I talk about Lights On® with my family, it is becoming part of our family culture. But it had to be something I was living first.
I signed up for a Big Vision session, and this prompted me to consider what I really wanted from life. One dream was to earn money from the crafts I love. I have always thought of myself as creative, but never had the self-belief to pursue this seriously. Being a parent, I had put my interest to one side.
Julia encouraged me in my vision to create Felted Families.
She helped me realise what was holding me back, and I started to believe I could do it. Julia gave me my first commission, which was daunting. Having only ever made gifts, thinking someone was paying for my work was a big obstacle. I had to really look at my money mindset, my self-worth and challenge my perfectionist tendencies.
I was focusing on my own dreams and creativity, but I was seeing small shifts in the boys, too, and felt more clear and confident engaging with them. When things went wrong, my younger son would say, “It was just your first draft!” Watching me, they were understanding the Lights On culture.
Entering lockdown gave us the opportunity we needed to really test this new approach. Rather than focusing on schoolwork, we allowed the boys’ interests to lead our days. William had the space to try things. He was doing magic, baking and playing music. He told me he had forgotten he could have fun doing anything other than gaming.
On a walk one day, we discussed his newfound interest in baking. He was really animated talking about doing more. The trouble was we would have too much cake to eat! I said that is why people set up businesses selling cakes, so they can make money doing something they love. He then asked me if I could help him set up a business!
We discussed what this would be like, and I saw a switch in him – His lights shone bright!
He designed a brand and has been using draft critique to perfect his bakes. Julia challenged him to send a birthday cake to her Mum which he did. He has delivered two further cake orders since, and is baking constantly. It has been lovely to see him transform in this way.
When I joined Explorium, I was asked about my dreams for the future. I wanted to pursue my interests while the boys worked independently with focus and passion. Initially I was impatient. I wanted instant proof I had done the right thing by signing up. Now my dream is my reality. It’s early days, we have a long way to go, but I trust that by following the programme we will get there.
I have learnt to see the progress, the positives, and harness the learning opportunities in every moment. I know that whenever I stumble, the support is there to guide me in the right direction. I know with all of my being that Explorium will help me and my family continue to realise our true potential.”
To find out more about Amy's Felted Families, check out: https://www.facebook.com/feltedfamilies/
Seeing her eldest son's lights go out when he was 7, Alice took action to ensure his freedom to learn. She has been speaking and writing about her family's learning adventures ever since, and gave a TEDx talk in 2016. Alice is part of our Lights On® Academy and lives with her husband and 4 Lights On® Learners in the West Midlands.